Another Monday…

We had a “quick” clinic visit for a finger poke yesterday to check Gage’s counts. Avery and Ellie came with Gage to clinic, which he always enjoys. And, as you can see above, he and Avery enjoyed interacting with the other kids at clinic. Although the physical challenges evident in each child’s body raise lots of questions and emotions, I’m glad Avery and Ellie can go with us to clinic and understand a bit more about the world Gage is living in. And, I did have to laugh when Gage and another patient got into a smack-talking, finger-pointing game of Uno…you never know what to expect at clinic!

As for Gage’s blood counts, his ANC is improved but still borderline at 512. He will take a reduced dose of chemo this week and then have his counts checked again next Monday, when we also start another week of steroids.

Please pray for us this week as we balance

*Gage’s counts (still pretty low),

*the oppressive heat outside (100+ every day),

*Wesley’s need to be at home to nap twice a day (and the kids’ need to be somewhat quiet even though we’re all a bit stir-crazy) and

*the fact that most indoor, air-conditioned play areas are off limits because of germ worries (Chick-fil-a playground, the kids room at our gym, etc)

And, please continue to pray that Gage’s counts would continue to rise so that his body would be more protected from infections. Thanks, as always, for keeping up and for praying.

RH

We Made It!

I’m happy to report that Gage didn’t catch any strange virus while we were in Nac, the kids and I had a great time, and we didn’t have to come home early. Yeah!

Thanks so much for praying for us. As I shouldered the burden of being alone with the kids while out of town and knowing how vulnerable Gage was to infection, it was a huge comfort to know that many of you prayed.

And, it was great to be back home. Even better, I can cross one more event off the post-leukemia milestone list: the first trip back to Nac. The kids loved staying at my parents house, playing with all the old toys I used to play with, swimming every afternoon and even taking a trip out to the golf course. We didn’t take too many pictures, but here are a few…

The kids with my parents

A crowded playing field on the greens

Ellie’s winning approach

Gage’s favorite thing, aside from driving the golf cart down the fairway…nothing like rolling down big, grassy hills

Thanks again for carrying our burdens before the Lord and trusting that He truly desires for us to cast our cares upon Him.

RH

On the Road Again

For our first trip this summer, we went to Florida. Now, we’re on our second trip…to Nacogdoches! You may laugh, but this is home for me. Today, as I drove with the kids for several hours to get here, I spent the (few) quiet moments thinking about our last year. I actually haven’t been to Nac since Gage was diagnosed, and Wesley (now 10 months old) hasn’t made the trip to my parents either.

As we passed the many familiar sights on the way, I kept thinking, “The last time I drove down this road…the last time I saw that spot…it would have been over a year ago now…and I had no idea what was ahead in my life.” It was certainly a strange feeling.

And, for now our third trip in a row (following time in Nashville & Florida earlier this year), we have a bump in the road with Gage. Thankfully, it’s a small bump…but it still forces us to deal with his leukemia in an environment outside of our comfort zone (and his). Blake took him to the clinic this morning before we left, and this afternoon as the kids swam at a friend’s pool, I heard from the nurse that his ANC is 182. (Anything below 500 tells us his immune system is even more suppressed than normal) So, he can’t have any of his nightly chemo this week, and we have to be on high alert for germs.

I called Children’s tonight to review our plans for the week in light of Gage’s counts, and they said we either needed to cancel several activities or have Gage wear a mask. So, I think we’ll just think of simpler things to do.

Thankfully, Gage seems to feel fine, so hopefully the kids will still be able to enjoy their week here. Please pray that the Lord would protect Gage from the germs that his body can’t fight and that his counts would recover quickly. Please also pray that he would not catch anything that would cause him to run a fever, as we would have to return home immediately (even in the middle of the night) to bring him to Children’s.

Thanks for continuing to care and pray for us.

RH

Thanks…

And, thanks for your prayers and emails as we endured yet another week of steroids.  As usual, Gage felt ok some of the time, but spent much of the week saying he felt crummy or tired.  And, he was certainly hungrier and more emotional than usual too.

Although each part of how he feels is not always overwhelming, the week itself often does feel that way. When he doesn’t feel good from his medicine, it just reminds all of us how much medicine he’s taking…and that the reason is because he is still very sick. Never a good thought.

So, the girls had a harder week because Gage needed more attention and because they were reminded yet again of the daily presence of his leukemia.  And, for me, it’s been a hard week because it can be overwhelming to realize how long this road really is. It’s hard for me at times to work through my emotions, thoughts and reactions to all that is happening…and even more so when I see Avery, Gage & Ellie struggling  as well. In those moments, doubt, discouragement and exhaustion creep in as it seems like so much to handle…for me as well as for them.

And, yet again, I’m so thankful for a God that loves us beyond our understanding and never wants us to bear this burden alone:

I Peter 5:7     Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.

Thanks for your prayers this week, and please continue to pray as Gage’s body goes through a “detox” this week as it adjusts to life without the steroids…often difficult days as well.

RH

Thank You Lord!

Our day started early, as we took Gage to clinic, and Avery tagged along to encourage him. And, after Blake’s message yesterday at church, we received numerous emails and posts from people reminding us that they were praying for our day at clinic. As we drove down I-75 towards Children’s, a car drove up beside us, honked and then the driver motioned “I’m praying for you” to Blake. Later, we learned that the guy in the car heard Blake’s message yesterday and was thinking of us as he drove to work…and then recognized Blake on the road! Not the typical way to start your day…and certainly not your typical day either.

Thankfully, even with the long line-up of chemotherapy and procedures, Gage did amazingly well. I’m sure Avery’s sweet encouragement and companionship played a huge part in his countenance. And, we finished in four hours…record time!

Tonight, I overheard Blake talking with the kids before bedtime. He reminded them that they prayed last night about our clinic day today…and that God had answered those prayers. So, he encouraged them to give thanks back to the Lord. Then, I heard all of their voices yelling out, “Thank you Lord!” My first thought was that their rowdy, loud voices didn’t sound much like prayer. Then, I considered the sincerity, joy and child-like faith embodied in their response, and I thought the Lord must have smiled as He heard them.

So, yet again, thank you Lord for answered prayers. And, thanks to ALL of you who prayed for us today. Blake and I said to each other several times today that we believe your prayers changed our day. Please continue to pray for our week as Gage begins his five days of steroids following his long day today.

RH

What We See

Like many days recently, our family celebration of the Fourth of July on Friday was greatly enjoyed…and the cause of much reflection. As I watched the kids at the parade and then looked at the pictures afterward, I saw two things. One, I see the kids having a great time with each other and in all the festivities. And I feel relief and gratitude. Especially because the other thing I see is images in my mind of last year’s Fourth of July: Gage…pale, in his pajamas and not yet bald from chemo…trying to enjoy the parade and sitting by the curb in a Spiderman chair because he didn’t have the energy to stand very long. We were devastated by his cancer, but still had no idea all that was ahead in his treatment and in our family.

So, days like Friday are still bittersweet. I certainly feel a sense of loss at the innumerable things Gage and our family have endured so far…and still have ahead of us. Yet, I also feel a depth of gratitude and enjoyment in a simple parade that I had not experienced prior to Gage’s diagnosis. And, I am certainly more aware of God’s care for our family and presence in our daily moments in a new way as well.

I’ve included a picture from last year, as well as several from this year, to give you a small sense of what we see on many days.

Last year…

This year…

Notice Wesley’s toys…can you say 4th child? Flash Gordan action figure & keys…

A sweet sight…Gage was the last one to the car. He was still full of energy and hunting for candy.

A rare family picture before we left for dinner & fireworks that night

I hope you all had a wonderful Fourth of July as well, and thanks for checking in. Please continue to pray for our long clinic day on Monday and our week of increased chemotherapy that begins then as well.

RH

Catching Up

Since this is the longest I’ve gone without posting in a while, I thought “Catching Up” would be an appropriate title. Also, the things that have kept me from posting also involve quite a bit of catching up…

• Enjoying time with our kids all together at home…especially since Avery isn’t bound to her school schedule right now! She wakes up, watches a bit of TV, plays the Wii while Gage watches, darts upstairs to jump into the crib with Wesley as soon as she hears her wake-up noises, and then eventually makes her way to breakfast…and then all four kids are up and moving and the day is on! The kids are all enjoying their time together, and, although there is still plenty of bickering, there is nothing better than watching them enjoying playing together.
• Helping Gage catch up on things he missed last year…he still goes to his tutor a couple times a week in preparation for kindergarten since he missed almost the entire year of pre-school. And, he’s been doing a couple private swimming lessons to help him catch up with missing both lessons and time in the pool. Several sweet friends have offered a backyard pool and private lessons for him, and he’s slowly making progress. Since he’ll have the same pool restrictions for the next couple summers, I hope this will be a good solution that still allows him to learn to swim.
• Helping Gage continue to re-enter the social world of five-year-old boys. Because of his time out of school and away from friends, in addition to the ups and downs of how he feels, he is still a bit uneasy being around groups of kids his age. I have him signed up for a couple things this summer to allow him to re-gain his comfort level and confidence before he starts kindergarten in the fall. Some things he enjoys; others he does not. This Monday, I took him to a two-hour kids’ camp he’s attending with his cousin this week. He cried and didn’t want me to leave. I thought back about our weekend spent with his cousins…all of his energy and smiles playing with them…and made the decision that he physically felt fine and that his hesitation was more emotional. So, I introduced him to his ‘coach,’ said a prayer with him and then extracted myself from his tearful hug. And, he may not have loved it, but he made it (and I did too!).

These moments of ‘catching up’ always remind me of the daily wisdom I need from the Lord to be a Godly parent to all our kids, especially Gage. I want to comfort Gage when he needs comfort, flex when he needs a change of plans, but also be able to help him when he needs to stretch, persevere and grow. I know he is capable of attending a two-hour kids’ camp…and I want him to know of my confidence in him as he is faced with challenges, many much tougher than kids’ camp.

As I left the church gym where the camp is held, I looked around at the Christian banners hanging from the rafters. I’m not usually a big fan of things like that, but I was moved to tears as I looked around the room…”Yahweh,” “God our Provider,” and “More than Enough” were the first to catch my eye. How amazing. And, I am reminded yet again… God is with Gage and me even in our tearful exchange in the gym. He provides for us and is always more than enough. What an amazing God to be so ever-present in our daily lives.

Please pray for us as we have the hardest week of our 12-week cycle on Monday: spinal tap, chemo in his port, additional chemo by mouth, a breathing treatment and start a week of steroids. Please also pray for us to have wisdom in knowing how to best lead Gage this summer as we seek to lovingly prepare him to re-join his friends at school and at play.

And, a few pictures from our early 4^th of July celebration at the lake with family:

With the cousins getting ready for the ‘parade”

Gage and Blake

Ellie in her crazy, patriotic outfit

Ellie attacking the pinata

Gage & Ellie awaiting the start of the three-legged race

Gage about to begin a crazy egg-on-the-spoon race

Avery in the same race

A simple foot race…and how good it is to see him (appropriately) ahead of Ellie, instead of the other way around, as it has often been this year

Wesley watching all the craziness!

Also, I wanted to let you know that Blake will be giving the message at our church, Watermark Community Church, each Sunday in July. The services are at 9 & 11 a.m., and you can get all the details on the website, http://watermark.org. If you don’t live nearby, you can visit the Resources/Media section of the website after Sunday to listen or download the message.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support for our family.

RH